Help Me Change the Literary World

I’m not in need of a kidney transplant or a new van with which to transport food to elderly shut-ins. I’m looking for people interested in supporting the creation and production of a 300-page book on a topic that’s been largely overlooked by the writing community.  I’ve been a professional writer for decades but as the job market has become more challenging for people like me, I’ve turned my focus toward publishing a book that makes it onto the New York Times bestseller list, becomes a national phenomenon, and erases the negative balance in my checking account.  I intend to use humor and my unique perspective as a middle-aged, slightly-overweight white guy who feels like a young, trim white guy to amuse my readers and give them something to think about.

My partner, four innocent young children and drooling creditors thank you in advance for helping to put a smile on their faces and food on their table...well, except for the drooling creditors. I’m not feeding them anything.

In the event that you’re the type of donor who requires biographical information on the writers and artists you support, here’s a little something:

Patrick Diehl, 51, has written, edited and proofread professionally for three decades.  When he’s not writing or lamenting the direction in which the planet’s heading, he enjoys riding his lawn tractor at breakneck speeds, hiding photos of owls in library books and designing wedding invitations for people he doesn’t know.  He lives in a suburb of Lansing, Michigan, with his loving partner, their four beautiful but hungry young children and two small, relatively hypoallergenic dogs who bark incessantly at everyone including their own humans.

Reward Levels

• $20:  Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life

• $50:  Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life, a copy of the book you helped fund, and a personal and brief telephone call from me (provided you provide your phone number).

• $100:  Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life, a brief but personal telephone call from me, a copy of the book you helped fund and the inclusion of your name in the book’s Acknowledgements section. (If your name is Mickey Mouse, Howard Stern or Lois Lane, you must supply a copy of a birth certificate verifying same.)

• $500:  Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life, a brief but personal telephone call from me, a copy of the book you helped fund, the inclusion of your real name in the book’s Acknowledgements section, and an inscribed photo of me marching up and down a busy street and holding a sign that says, “[Your name here] is one of the best people ever.”

Here's the link:

http://www.gofundme.com/3t7n0s

A Hillside in Tibet

Beautiful Tango - Hindi Zahra

Guest Post by Nathan Triplett: Ostomy Is Not a Tragedy

Nathan Triplett, 28, is an attorney, elected official, community activist and one of the most prolific posters on my Facebook news feed, although I have no idea how he finds the time. He gave me permission to repost the following enlightening message that he shared in Facebook yesterday:

As most of you know, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease as a teenager. Crohn’s is a chronic inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract. I was in constant pain and I was scared to death. Scared not just of the disease, but of the possibility that I would require surgery and end up with an ostomy. I didn’t know anyone with Crohn’s or with an ostomy to turn to for straight talk about what lay ahead. For 10 years, I did anything and everything that I could to avoid surgery. Eventually, my condition deteriorated to the point where surgery was my only viable treatment option. In June 2009, I underwent a total proctocolectomy with ileostomy to remove the entirety of my colon and rectum and to create a permanent ostomy. Four years later, I can tell you that surgery changed my life. It has allowed me to live essentially pain free for the first time in as long as I can remember. My ostomy hasn’t stopped me from living life to its fullest. In fact, it’s helped me do just that.

Unfortunately, there’s still a great deal of stigma associated with this surgical procedure. Stigma that results in the perpetuation of myths and misinformation and leads to exactly the kind of fear that I felt when I was younger. Recently, the Cincinnati Police Department began running a campaign aimed at reducing gun violence that features images of people with ostomies. The gist of the campaign is to say to young people: "You don’t want to get shot, because you might end up with an ostomy." They are portraying ostomies as something terrible, something to fear. One officer is quoted saying: "You're not killed, but you're walking around with a colostomy bag and that's just not the way to get a girl's attention, by limping down Warsaw Avenue with a colostomy bag."

There’s no doubt that reducing gun violence is a priority of the highest order, but stigmatizing people with ostomies, and adding to the fear and misunderstanding that often surrounds conditions like Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis, is the absolute wrong strategy. The author of this Huffington Post piece gets it right: ostomy is not a tragedy. Far from it. My ostomy changed my life for the better, just as it has for countless others. I don’t want any young person today to feel the fear that I needlessly felt about my Crohn’s and my ostomy. Tonight I’ll be writing a letter to Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory, encouraging him to rethink his strategy, and calling on the Cincinnati Police Department to end its stigmatizing campaign.

The Honorable Mark Mallory

Mayor of Cincinnati

City Hall

801 Plum Street

Cincinnati, Ohio 45202

513-352-3250

mayor.mallory@cincinnati-oh.gov

Four million Americans live with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis, known as Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), and an estimated three-quarters of a million Americans live with an ostomy. Click here to read “Cincinnati Police Department: An Ostomy Is Not a Tragedy.” And click here for information provided by the United Ostomy Associations of America, Inc.


Nathan earned not one but two bachelor’s degrees from Michigan State University’s James Madison College, a master’s degree in Public Policy from the University of Michigan’s Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy, and a law degree from MSU’s College of Law. He’s an associate at Clark Hill PLC, a prominent law firm with offices in several states. Nathan has served on the East Lansing City Council for years – he’s currently the city’s Mayor Pro Tem – and is affiliated with the local Democratic Party, Rotary Club, the American Civil Liberties Union and Boy Scouts of America, among other groups. He’s been honored by the Michigan Municipal League, Lansing Regional Chamber of Commerce, the Greater Lansing United Nations Association and others for his efforts to enhance the quality of life in his community. He makes Facebook better too.


Sources: Wound Ostomy and Continence Nurses Society, United Ostomy Associations of America, Inc.

The Zimmerman Jury

Fly Over States - Jason Aldean

If You Think Robin Thicke Is a Despicable Misogynist, Sign Here

I ran across a post in Facebook yesterday relating to singer Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” song and video. People are objecting to what they see as misogynistic art being nominated for three MTV Video Music Awards – Best Collaboration, Best Male Video and Video of the Year – and have launched a petition urging MTV executives to withdraw the song immediately and stop “rewarding rape culture.”

First of all, I didn’t know MTV was even involved with music anymore – I thought the network that brings us Jersey Shore, Teen Mom 2, Teen Wolf, Girl Code and the salacious Spring Break and Real World phenomena left genuine music (and good taste) behind decades ago. I also had no idea that anyone over 23 gave a rodent’s derriere about MTV awards (except for pandering music celebrities itching to sell records or jumpstart/revive their careers). I know I don’t.

Incidentally, when I told my 12-year-old that MTV used to be about music, he replied, “It did? What happened?” Good question, Bryant.

Secondly, I’ve never been a fan of censorship, regardless of what’s being censored. Of course I oppose rape and I’m not crazy about the objectification of women – I personally know more than a few of ‘em myself and am even related to some. I also oppose slaughtering dolphins, hunting elephants, evicting the homeless from downtown bus stations, tearing down historical buildings and paving paradise to put up parking lots. But it just doesn’t feel right to try to shut down objectionable Facebook groups and tell private entities what they can and can’t say and sell. At the risk of sounding like a GOP politician, I say we let the market decide. If people want to buy, watch or express something, who am I to tell them they can’t? (Obviously this excludes semiautomatic firearms, kiddy porn, methamphetamines, Ted Nugent CDs and shouting “Fire!” in crowded movie theaters.)

And anyway, if we’re going to try to clean up television, Honey Boo Boo and her unsettling family deserve to be yanked off the air long before awards shows in my view.

Third, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t think online petitions are all that effective. It doesn’t take a whole lot of effort or conviction to type 35 keystrokes and click “enter” – and what’s to stop someone from signing several times using aliases and secondary or fictional e-mail addresses? There may be statistics out there to support going this route but I haven’t seen any. I’m clinging to the belief that a personal letter is more persuasive than being number #47, #6,719 or #920,123 on a roster of electronic slacktivists.

I remember joining millions of others who took to the streets in cities around the world back in February of 2003 to persuade Dubya and his ilk not to invade Iraq. (Some experts estimate that 36 million people took part in almost 3,000 protests all over the world in the first quarter of 2003.) We started bombing Baghdad a few weeks later anyway (and ended up spending over $800 billion on that war alone). If 36 million people physically blocking traffic around the globe don't have an impact on the shot-callers, do you really think an online list of signers from the Flyover States does?

I concede that I’m a middle-aged white guy who has no idea how it feels to be female, black, disabled, hunted, poor, captured or at risk of anything besides heart attacks, strokes, diabetes and morbid obesity if I’m not careful. I just think there’s a slew of better reasons to be ‘outraged,’ as one disgruntled petition signer described herself. Maybe I’m insensitive but I just don’t think MTV is part of a nefarious plot to make “rape culture” more acceptable.

When I showed my daughters the tamer version of the video, my 13-year-old said it was stupid and explicit and she didn’t like it, my 10-year-old found it “inappropriate” and “not that good” and my eight-year-old said she wished “there weren’t any girls in it.” Rather than taking part in a censorship campaign, I just need to trust my kids’ discerning taste.

And people need to learn how to pick their battles and turn off their televisions.

If you insist on seeing for yourself what the hubbub’s all about, here’s the milder version of the video (click here for the explicit version):

UPDATE: I just ran across this funny parody video:

Sources: Costofwar.com, thepetitionsite.com, YouTube.com.