So my beautiful son – my graceful, athletic, talented, gifted, fast, competitive, football-loving 11-year-old boy – was just diagnosed with a chronic blood disorder that renders him unable to participate in the contact sports he loves and relegates him to tennis, darts and bowling for the rest of his life. We’re trying to figure out how to tell him that he needs to replace his dream of playing for the NFL when he grows up with something more sedentary, more cautious, something that doesn’t involve end zones and stadiums full of cheering fans.
It could be worse, of course. At least he’s still going to grow up. But I resent having to learn about Immune Thrombocytopenic Purpura (ITP) and platelet levels and the risk of strokes and brain hemorrhages and where I should park when I take him to the hospital for evaluation and treatment. I resent having to add the Platelet Disorder Support Association’s website to my favorites list and feeling guilty that I’m resentful when it’s not like he has leukemia or requires around-the-clock medical care.
This is my beautiful Bryant, who taught me how to throw a perfect spiral years ago and runs faster than I ever could and was more masculine and athletic at the age of six than I’ve ever been and yet is sensitive and gentle and kind and empathetic and doesn’t deserve to have his dreams crushed by a f*cking sneaky b*llsh*t virus.He still kisses his mom on the lips, for Pete’s sake. He still reaches for my hand when we’re walking in the park and carries his little sister’s backpack so she can make it to the bus stop on time and wakes us up on Saturday mornings to ask if we want breakfast in bed. It’s too early for him to learn that life’s not fair and bad sh*t happens for no reason and sometimes evil is rewarded and goodness is punished.
I guess now we’ll find out.
There are many more promising careers than becoming an NFL player; less than 1% make it to that level. I know it's heartbreaking to an 11 year-old boy to hear he can't be active in sports anymore due to an affliction that the majority of people have never heard of.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 11, I played baseball, box lacrosse (way rougher than that outdoor college game you might see on TV), football (both organized and backyard), and tried to learn tennis. I also played darts in my uncle's basement during family gatherings (can still beat most people in a bar), and bowled on a league, carrying a 167 average.
What I also did at age 11 was develop a desire to learn. I was, and still am, an avid reader. I was always proficient in English classes, writing classes, and science classes (although, ironically, I sucked at math). My dad turned me on to the National Geographic specials on PBS when I was a kid, Nova, the early days when the Discovery channel was actually about science,etc.
I know what it's like to lose one's active side, as well. I don't have a chronic blood disorder like Bryant has, but I had hernia surgery 3 years ago, and darts is the most strenuous competitive activity I'm allowed to do, physically. I can't even bowl anymore. I also have a 25% chance of the condition returning.
Patrick, I hate that a competitive child has their dreams cut short for any reason. His condition is no joke. But if Ann (Mrs. Robotron) Romney has thrived after breast cancer and having MS for 15 years, anything is possible. There are plenty of ways to be competitive in academic ways. We could always use more scientists to wreck the veil of bullshit the religious people try to feed us.
Life is good, Patrick. Hard on kids, hard on parents...but good!
Paul, this is one of the coolest comments I've ever seen on this or any blog. I'm so glad we're pals. Thanks.
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