Saturday, February 6, 2016

Jones Causes Groans

The Dignified Senator from the 24th District

As if the international attention drawn to Michigan by our GOP governor presiding over one of the worst public health disasters in memory weren’t enough, now there’s another reason for people to scratch their heads and wonder what’s in our water besides lead.

State Senator Rick Jones, a Republican from the Lansing suburb of Grand Ledge, is proposing that sodomy continue to be classified as a felony punishable by 15 years in prison. Even though it’s already been deemed unconstitutional by the highest court in the land, the august body of which Jones is part passed a bill reaffirming that oral and anal sex are illegal regardless of whether homosexuals or heterosexuals are involved. But wait there’s more.

According to, Michigan’s ban is “intertwined with a prohibition on bestiality – effectively equating the two.” It’s a felony for anyone to commit "the abominable and detestable crime against nature with mankind or with any animal." And if the offending party is already a sex offender, he or she is looking at the possibility of life in prison.

Our House of Representatives could take up the bill – which is part of a package barring animal abusers from owning pets for five years – as early as next week.

"If we could put a bill in that said anything that’s unconstitutional be removed from the legal books of Michigan, that’s probably something I could vote for,” Jones is quoted as saying, “but am I going to mess up this dog bill that everybody wants? No."

Jones, 63, who worked for the Eaton County Sheriff’s Office for more than three decades before becoming a lawmaker in 2005, is probably best known for comparing a local, well-known public relations expert to a prostitute in December of 2012. He also tried to repeal a state law giving unmarried domestic partners of state employees health insurance, threatened to erect a Christmas Nativity scene on the Capitol lawn when he heard that a Satanic Temple intended to put up its own holiday display – “I cannot stand by and allow Satan to win this one,” he said at the time – and tried to outlaw medical marijuana use by glaucoma patients.

I announced to my Facebook pals last week that I was creating a “People I Loath” list and placing Ted Cruz and Martin Shkreli – the smirking, obscenely rich, 32-year-old prick who hiked an AIDS drug by 5,556 percent – right on top. Consider this the official announcement that Rick Jones has been added to the list for being a Tier One Pain in the Ass Politician and a Judgmental SOB Who Embarrasses Michigan Citizens Just By Being One.


1 comment:

  1. There is another message from Michigan lawmakers to all women: "Slam, bam, we don't give a damn ... about your filthy children or your filthy pleasure!"