How about if women control their bodies and we control ours?

I saw on television last night that intolerant bottom-feeders from a group called “Personhood USA,” emboldened by successful efforts to restrict abortion in various backwards state legislatures, are now brazenly going after the practice of contraception. They want to define “personhood” as beginning at fertilization, in effect making the use of birth control a crime.

First of all, don’t these single-toothed, knuckle-dragging, cousin-diddling freaks see the ridiculousness in making sure all the cute little babies get born only to abandon them to lives of potential abuse and neglect, underfunded education, limited and finite resources, questionable opportunity and reliance in many cases on tattered, shrinking social safety nets?

Secondly, can’t these narrow-minded, Bible-thumping, arrogant, self-righteous twits keep their religion in their homes and churches and stop trying to force it down everybody else’s throats like the puréed peas I used to make my infant daughter consume much to her displeasure?

Thirdly, can’t these stupid, mouth-breathing, Wal-Mart-shopping, creationist dweebs find a different issue on which to motivate their feeble-minded brethren, perhaps something based on science and not the rudimentary and contradictory writings of ancient, ignorant, controlling men? The medical community has long believed fertilization doesn’t mark the beginning of a pregnancy; fertilized eggs must first be implanted, and only about half of fertilized eggs actually result in a pregnancy.

Around 11 million American women use birth control pills and another two million use intrauterine devices (IUDs). If the zealots from “Personhood USA” succeed in getting their laws passed – they intend to get proposals on the ballot in nearly half the states by next year – and the laws then survive court challenges, countless women could suddenly find themselves at risk of criminal prosecution for controlling their own bodies.

What about all the ectopic pregnancies – when fertilized eggs implant outside the uterus, most often settling in the fallopian tubes – and spontaneous abortions, which are surprisingly common and occur so early in many cases that women never know they were pregnant?

I hate how pandering politicians disregard the input of people who go to esteemed medical schools and study science and become experts in human reproduction, listening instead to the unreasonable, emotion-laden declarations of people who believe in talking snakes and zombies emerging from caves and ascending to Heaven. I can’t figure out why a growing number of politicians support a nutzoid fringe group’s attempts to buck medical expertise and stuff their faith down the country’s throats. And I can’t for the life of me explain to my children why everything in Lansing and Washington is so frikkin’ crazy and is only getting worse.



Sources: Thinkprogress.org, Estronaut.com