If you hate taxes...

If you're a person who hates taxes:

1. Don’t use Medicare.

2. Don’t use Social Security.

3. Don’t become a member of the U.S. military, who are paid with tax dollars.

4. Don’t ask the National Guard to help you after a disaster.

5. Don’t call 911 when you get hurt.

6. Don’t call the police to stop intruders in your home.

7. Don’t summon the fire department to save your burning home.

8. Don’t drive on any paved road, highway, and interstate or drive on any bridge.

9. Don’t use public restrooms.

10. Don’t send your kids to public schools.

11. Don’t put your trash out for city garbage collectors.

12. Don’t live in areas with clean air.

13. Don’t drink clean water.

14. Don’t visit National Parks.

15. Don’t visit public museums, zoos and monuments.

16. Don’t eat or use FDA-inspected food and medicines.

17. Don’t bring your kids to public playgrounds.

18. Don’t walk or run on sidewalks.

19. Don’t use public recreational facilities such as basketball and tennis courts.

20. Don’t apply for educational or job training assistance when you lose your job.

21. Don’t apply for food stamps when you can't feed your kids.

22. Don’t use the judiciary system for any reason.

23. Don’t ask for a lawyer or expect one to be assigned to you by the court.

24. Don’t apply for any Pell Grants.

25. Don’t use cures that were discovered by labs using federal dollars.

26. Don’t fly on federally-regulated airplanes.

27. Don’t use any product that can trace its development back to NASA.

28. Don’t watch the weather provided by the National Weather Service.

29. Don’t listen to severe weather warnings from the National Weather Service.

30. Don’t listen to tsunami, hurricane, or earthquake alert systems.

31. Don’t apply for federal housing.

32. Don’t use the internet, which was developed by the military.

33. Don’t swim in clean rivers.

34. Don’t allow your child to eat school lunches or breakfasts.

35. Don’t expect help from FEMA when everything you own gets wiped out by disaster.

36. Don’t expect the military to defend you in the event of a foreign invasion.

37. Don’t use your cell phone or home telephone.

38. Don’t buy firearms developed by the U.S. government or military.

39. Don’t eat USDA-inspected produce and meat.

40. Don’t apply for government grants to start your own business.

41. Don’t apply to win a government contract.

42. Don’t buy any vehicle that’s been inspected by government safety agencies.

43. Don’t buy anything protected by the Consumer Protection Agency.

44. Don’t save your money in or apply for a loan from a bank that’s FDIC-insured.

45. Don’t use veterans’ benefits or military health care.

46. Don’t use the G.I. Bill to go to college.

47. Don’t apply for unemployment benefits.

48. Don’t use electricity from companies regulated by the Department of Energy.

49. Don’t live in homes that are built to code.

50. Don’t run for public office. (Politicians are paid with taxpayer dollars.)

51. Don’t ask for help from the FBI, SWAT, the bomb squad, Homeland Security or state troopers.

52. Don’t apply for a government job (state and federal employees are paid with tax dollars).

53. Don’t use public libraries.

54. Don’t visit the National Archives.

55. Don’t visit presidential libraries.

56. Don’t use airports that are secured by the federal government.

57. Don’t ask the government to help you clean up after a tornado.

58. Don’t ask for an Agriculture Department subsidy to help you run your farm.

59. Don’t take walks in National Forests.

60. Don’t ask for taxpayer dollars for your oil company.

61. Don’t ask the federal government to bail your company out during recessions.

62. Don’t seek medical care from places that use federal dollars.

63. Don’t use Medicaid.

64. Don’t use WIC.

65. Don’t use electricity generated by Hoover Dam.

66. Don’t use electricity provided by the Tennessee Valley Authority.

67. Don’t ask the Army Corps of Engineers to rebuild levees when they break.

68. Don’t let the Coast Guard save you when your boat capsizes at sea.

69. Don’t ask for evacuation assistance when all hell breaks loose in the country you’re visiting.

70. Don’t visit historic landmarks.

71. Don’t visit fisheries.

72. Don’t expect to see animals that are federally-protected because of the Endangered Species List.

73. Don’t expect plows to clear roads of snow and ice so your kids can go to school and you can get to work.

74. Don’t hunt or camp on federal land.

75. Don’t work anywhere that’s safe because of government regulations.

76. Don’t use public transportation.

77. Don’t drink water from public water fountains.

78. Don’t whine when someone copies your work and sells it as their own. (The government enforces copyright laws.)

79. Don’t expect to own your home, car or boat. (Government organizes and keeps all titles.)

80. Don’t expect convicted felons to remain off the streets.

81. Don’t eat in restaurants regulated by food quality and safety standards.

82. Don’t seek help from the U.S. Embassy if you need assistance in a foreign nation.

83. Don’t apply for a passport to travel outside of the United States.

84. Don’t apply for a patent when you invent something.

85. Don’t adopt a child through your local, state or federal government.

86. Don’t use elevators inspected by federal or state safety regulators.

87. Don’t use any resource that was discovered by the USGS.

88. Don’t ask for energy assistance from the government.

89. Don’t move to any other developed nation because the taxes are much higher.

90. Don’t go to a beach that is kept clean by the state.

91. Don’t use money printed by the U.S. Treasury.

92. Don’t complain when illegal immigrants cross the border because there aren’t more border patrol agents.

93. Don’t attend a state university.

94. Don’t see any doctor who's licensed through the state.

95. Don’t use water from municipal water systems.

96. Don’t complain when diseases and viruses once fought around the globe by the Centers for Disease Control reach your house.

97. Don’t work for a company that has to pay its workers a livable wage or provide sick days, vacation and benefits.

98. Don’t expect to be able to vote on election days. (Government provides voting booths, election officials and voting machines funded with taxes.)

99. Don’t ride trains. (The railroad was built with government assistance.)

100. Don't complain about potholes.


The fact is we pay for the lifestyle we expect. Without taxes, our lifestyles would be totally different and much harder. America would be a third world country. The less we pay, the less we get in return.

Americans pay less in taxes today than in 1958; the United States is ranked 32nd out of 34 of the top tax-paying countries. (Chile and Mexico are 33rd and 34th.) People are lying when they say we pay the highest taxes in the world.

If you object to paying taxes or support abolishing taxes for corporations and the wealthy, remember this quote:

"I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization." ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

With thanks to Julia Koch.