Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Even the kitchen sink...
My parents left yesterday. They arrived last Friday for a quick visit on their way to my nephew’s bar mitzvah in New Jersey. (I didn’t even know he was Jewish; I’m not close to my siblings.) Years usually pass before we see each other - they live in Georgia - so now I’m sad.
My 74-year-old dad, who’s more of a man than I’ll ever be, installed a new stainless steel kitchen sink for us – which turned out to be a big job – and repaired broken light switches and replaced molding and fixed our doorbell and even installed ceiling fans in two of the kids’ rooms. (If anyone deserves a reserved parking spot next to the front door of the local home improvement store, it’s us.)
My 71-year-old mom laughed at the kids and taught me how to play Spider Solitaire on my laptop and went shoe shopping with Anita and told me I’m too irritable. We all went to Bryant’s football game on Sunday – the Holt Rams beat the Grand Ledge Bobcats 38 to 24 – and my parents’ two huge golden retrievers refrained from eating our two Maltese puppies in spite of their constant barking, which was a good thing for all concerned.
My parents got to see for the first time what it’s like when Anita and I don’t get along, and the kids decided to experiment with rule-breaking and reverting to unacceptable behavior because that’s what kids do, especially when they have grandparents around to minimize the significance of their transgressions and serve as witnesses in the event that one of ‘em ends up buried in the backyard.
We grilled salmon and asparagus and ate cheesecake and Chinese food and shrimp and ate out two nights in a row and drank beer and wine and probably all gained weight. We watched TV and checked out an art fair and stopped by Old Town and managed to bite our tongues and avoid the tensions and arguments that bubble to the surface when family members come together amidst general chaos after extended periods apart.
I didn’t know my parents were anxious to get on the road – they had a 500-mile drive ahead of them – and would be leaving as soon as they could yesterday morning. (I assumed we’d fix a few more things around here and say our goodbyes in the afternoon.) So I didn’t shower and dress and I didn’t make them anything to eat and I didn’t prepare emotionally for their departure, and suddenly I was lugging luggage out to their car and rushing to thank them for all the things they did for me.
Mom and Jack, I’m sorry I’m overweight and I yell at my kids and my puppies stressed your dogs out and I didn’t feed you sausage and eggs before your long drive. I’m sorry I spent so much time in front of my computer and so little time joking and laughing like I did when I was young. I’m sorry your visit was so short and we didn’t play any games and I forgot to take pictures and so much time always passes before we see each other. I’m sorry I didn’t turn out to be a better man. I’m sorry you seldom read my blog and probably won’t see this anytime soon.
Thanks for stopping by. I love you.
i hope you print this out and mail it to them. it's very touching, and a good reminder to embrace the moment.
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