I’m not in need of a kidney transplant or a new van with which to transport food to elderly shut-ins. I’m looking for people interested in supporting the creation and production of a 300-page book on a topic that’s been largely overlooked by the writing community. I’ve been a professional writer for decades but as the job market has become more challenging for people like me, I’ve turned my focus toward publishing a book that makes it onto the New York Times bestseller list, becomes a national phenomenon, and erases the negative balance in my checking account. I intend to use humor and my unique perspective as a middle-aged, slightly-overweight white guy who feels like a young, trim white guy to amuse my readers and give them something to think about.
My partner, four innocent young children and drooling creditors thank you in advance for helping to put a smile on their faces and food on their table...well, except for the drooling creditors. I’m not feeding them anything.
In the event that you’re the type of donor who requires biographical information on the writers and artists you support, here’s a little something:
Patrick Diehl, 51, has written, edited and proofread professionally for three decades. When he’s not writing or lamenting the direction in which the planet’s heading, he enjoys riding his lawn tractor at breakneck speeds, hiding photos of owls in library books and designing wedding invitations for people he doesn’t know. He lives in a suburb of Lansing, Michigan, with his loving partner, their four beautiful but hungry young children and two small, relatively hypoallergenic dogs who bark incessantly at everyone including their own humans.
- $20: Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life
- $50: Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life, a copy of the book you helped fund, and a personal and brief telephone call from me (provided you provide your phone number).
- $100: Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life, a brief but personal telephone call from me, a copy of the book you helped fund and the inclusion of your name in the book’s Acknowledgements section. (If your name is Mickey Mouse, Howard Stern or Lois Lane, you must supply a copy of a birth certificate verifying same.)
- $500: Receive a personal e-mail message thanking you for enhancing my quality of life, a brief but personal telephone call from me, a copy of the book you helped fund, the inclusion of your real name in the book’s Acknowledgements section, and an inscribed photo of me marching up and down a busy street and holding a sign that says, “[Your name here] is one of the best people ever.”
Here's the link: