Friday, March 11, 2011

Time for a Pissy Essay on Life and Stuff


A Facebook friend posed an interesting question yesterday. He asked, “Is there any compelling reason for going on with all this?”

I’m not sure if he was referring to life, or social media, or some unknown personal challenge or work assignment that was proving draining. But he was met with a chorus of Up with People-type responses; everything from “Great things are in store” and “Don’t you want to see what happens next?” to “All you need is hope” and “Believe.”

Believe in what? What is he supposed to hope for, specifically? That earthquakes and floods and climate change don’t happen anymore? That politicians will stop lying and being greedy and corrupt, and schools will start receiving all the money they need because there’s no more war? That people will stop caring only about themselves and their immediate families, an ignorant electorate will become a thing of the past, Palestine and Israel will find common ground and the Promised Land to which Dr. King referred will finally be discovered here in North America?

Anita and I sometimes discuss the “Is the glass half full or half empty?” conundrum. Depending on our moods and what kind of day we’ve had, we’ll either emerge from these conversations feeling optimistic and thankful or distressed and depressed. It seems like lately I’ve been ending up more and more on the “Woe is Me” spot. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse. I’m becoming cranky and pissy just like my late, beloved grandmother, who insisted that all politicians were crooks and the world was going to hell in a handbasket and we might as well just turn the television on and watch Lawrence Welk because those people look happy.

I used to argue with her. I’d point to flowers and laughing children and love and blue skies and sunshine and bubbling brooks and puppies and monarch butterflies and how humans help other humans, sometimes without even knowing their names, as proof that there’s beauty in life and sometimes it’s just harder to see. But now I find myself asking my grumpy, middle-aged, slightly overweight, gray-haired reflection in the mirror, “What’s the damn use?”

I’ve considered the plight of the late Dr. Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist and author of Man’s Search for Meaning. This famous book chronicles his experiences as a Holocaust survivor and presents his method of finding meaning in all forms of existence and therefore a reason to continue living. I try to tell myself that things may be tough but I’m not suffering in a concentration camp. I haven’t lost everything in a devastating tsunami or plane crash or the stock market. I don’t have cancer – knock on Formica – and I have clothes and books and music and food and shelter and beautiful children and a fantastic, compelling partner and I am loved. But what is the meaning of all of this, the good and the bad? Why do some people die, and others lie, and some people get obscene rewards that they don’t deserve while others struggle just to eat and breathe?

We can read all the books we can find and listen to all the good, hopeful, upbeat songs we want to. We can compare our lots to those of others and come out ahead of those sleeping in boxes under bridges every time. We can do drugs, prescribed or not, until the cows come home. We can force ourselves to smile and look on the bright side and express gratitude for all our gifts every morning and every night. But does anything change, really?

What are we supposed to hope for and believe? How do we make things better?

Is that all there is, is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing.
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is.

~ Peggy Lee

2 comments:

  1. Pat, I think most of are feeling this way a whole lot more these days. You are not alone. It's been sad for me to look back on my younger days and remember how I believed that things would only get better in my lifetime. I work for the public interest because I simply have to. I don't think I could do anything else and not feel guilty. So I guess I am sticking with the cause of trying to make the world a better place. I guess what helps me is that I am an obsessive reader and curious and interested in spirituality. I don't have all of the answers, but I do think life is not random. We are here for a reason and we need to do what we are here for. We are here now, right now, because we are needed. All over the world there are other people carrying out their purpose. We are one of many. We need to remember that. I think civilization is at the cusp of a massive change, moving from a tribal stage to a higher level. That's what is causing such confusion and upheaval. Too metaphysical? Maybe, but it helps me to continue on, to hone my skills, and to remember how much one person, small groups, each of us can make a big difference in our world.

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  2. I realize that things and situation in life can bring us down. But like you mentioned about the glass being half full or half empty. For me surrendering isn't an option nor is giving up. If we aren't part of a solution then we are part of the problem. Hows that coming from an apathetic Canadian! lol

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