Nation's Capital Still a Cesspool

Aerial view of Congress courtesy Roto-Rooter

“BREAKING: Supercommittee Downgraded to Just Another Shitty Committee.” ~ Andy Borowitz

I heard on the radio this morning that the 12-member Congressional “supercommittee” charged with figuring out how to reduce the federal deficit will announce its failure to do so today.

This is supposed to mean Draconian budget cuts will automatically kick in, decimating defense spending and social welfare programs on which many people rely. (Programs such as Social Security, Medicaid, food stamps and veterans' benefits are supposed to be spared the budget ax.)

Politicians were supposed to figure out how to enact $1.2 trillion in budget cuts over the next ten years. Although they’re paid a minimum of $174,000/year plus benefits and work just 53 percent of the year, they couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do it.

So now the automatic cuts, known as a sequester, are supposed to occur but rumor has it politicians are trying to figure out a way to stop ‘em. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta says the required cuts of up to $454 billion to the Pentagon would be "devastating" and leave a "hollow force.” And some lawmakers are reluctant to face angry constituents when they head home for the holidays.

Economists warn the supercommittee’s poor performance could lead to volatile markets and another downgrading of the country’s credit rating.

Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ)

The official announcement hasn’t yet been made but the blame game has started. Democrats said Republicans were refusing to budge on Dubya’s tax cuts for the rich, which the Dems want to scale back and the GOP wants to extend. And Senator Jon “Not Intended to be Factual” Kyl (R-Arizona), who lies about everything – from how much of Planned Parenthood’s funding pays for abortion to why President Obama won’t “secure our borders” – went on NBC’s “Meet the Press” yesterday to blame Democrats, saying, “If you look at the Democrats' position it was, 'We have to raise taxes. We have to pass this jobs bill,’ which is another almost half-trillion dollars.”

Yeah, those pesky Democrats, with their damn insistence that we spend money to help unemployed Americans instead of lining the pockets of the rich and killing Muslims overseas.

Committee members reportedly also argued about payroll tax cuts, closing tax loopholes for corporate jet owners, and Grover Norquist’s insistence that Republicans honor their ridiculously irresponsible pledge to refuse to raise any tax of any kind at any time for any reason (see my recent post entitled, “Bathtubs and Rat Butts”), among other sticking points.

You know, I never had high hopes for this committee – see my August 25 post entitled, “Oh, this is just super!” – but I promised to reserve judgment until the committee announced its final plan.

Now that we learn the plan is to not have a plan, I’m free to express my disgust, disdain, dismay, dissatisfaction and disappointment at the complete losers who sat on this body and not only failed to complete their important assignment but decided to give us, the American people, the taxpayers who sent them to the cesspool known as Washington to represent our best interests, yet more proof of government’s dysfunction and impotence.

Is anyone still wondering why people are protesting in the streets all over the place?



Sources: MSNBC.com, CNN, The Guardian, Alternet.org.